


tell them to stop banning me

by 364_Unbirthdays



Category: Original Work
Genre: Characters to be added, M/M, Original Character(s), Other, chatfic, discord chatfic, ok there's plot if you squint, rated T for res' murderous ways, res goes on dates with dead bodies, the real victim is andes, there's no plot it's just characters messing around
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23962855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/364_Unbirthdays/pseuds/364_Unbirthdays
Summary: kaeDEAd (Today at 02:30)omg why is no one here at my time of needby no one I mean andesres can go screwhimselfnot slime asmr either that'd just be creepyomg the scariest thing is that he could actually do ittax evader (Today at 02:53)HOLYS HIT KAEDE SHUT TF UP
Relationships: Heresy | Res/Leo
Comments: 2





	tell them to stop banning me

  
#ban-kaede-2k20  
  


kaeDEAd Today at 02:30  
guys  
guysssss  
guyssss are yall here  
@tax evader  
@tax evader  
@tax evader  
@tax evader  
andeeeeeessss  
andes and es andes andesandes  
omg why is no one here in my time of need  
by no one I mean andes  
res can go screwhimself  
or leo  
wait not leo that's a bad idea STAY AWAY FEOM LEO  
not slime asmr either thatd just be creepy  
omg the scariest thing is that he could actually do it  
@tax evader  
@tax evader  
  
@tax evader  
@tax evader  


* * *

tax evader Today at 02:53  
HOLYS HIT KAEDE SHUT TF UP  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 02:53  
ANDES!!!  
FINALLY  
YOU TOOK SO LONG YOU USUALLY COME ON FASTER  
hey do you think slime asmr is watching us rn  


* * *

tax evader Today at 02:54  
I WAS SLEEPING YOU BIT CH  
i sure hope not he watches us too much already  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 02:54  
you’re absolutely right  
BUT WAIT DONT SWEAR THERE ARE CHILDREN IN HERE  
btw pls change ur icon its creepy af  
who even MAKEs tha t their pfp  


* * *

tax evader Today at 02:54  
I do  
deal with it  
btw literally WHAT children  
it s not even likenoel is here  
btw you said af doesnt that count  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 02:55  
it’s pronounced “ay eff” its ok!!  
I’m talking about leo isn’t he a literal infant  


* * *

tax evader Today at 02:55  
idk res wants to do very un-infantlike things with him  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 02:55  
his text-to-speech thingy will read it out as ay eff so its all good  
OH MY GOD ANDES WTFHHGDjfd  


* * *

tax evader Today at 02:55  
WAIT NO THAT CAME OUT WRONG  
I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT HOLY SHIT KAEDE WHAT ARE YOU THINKINg  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 02:56  
IT’S NOT MY FAULT???  
anyways andes  


* * *

tax evader Today at 02:56  
btw what did you want to tell me  
:eye emoj:  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 02:57  
oh yeah  


* * *

tax evader Today at 02:57  
nvm two lazy to fix it  
*too  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 02:58  
andes  
why is a hamburger called hamburger if it doesnt have any ham???  
bacon is a ham, but if it’s in a hamburger then it’s gonna be a bacon burger right  
so where did the ham come from????  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:00  
wtf  
you wake me up  
AT 2 AM  
TO ASK ME THAT????  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:01  
and also like hamburgers are made with like beef right?? But why isn’t it called a beef burger instead??  
shut up andes it’s a very important question  
I’ve been thinkin about it since lik e 1  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:01  
then keep thinking about it  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:02  
goddammit andes why can’t you give me a good answer  
leo is dumb but at least he’d like  
try to answer seriously  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:02  
thats just cause leo is literally too good for you  
actuakly hes too good for any of us  
can you remind me why they put him with us again  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:03  
bc res did something to get him super attached to him idk  
BUT ANYWAYs what do you think  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:03  
of what??  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:03  
the qn ofc  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:04  
oh  
are you sure you want me to answer that  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:03  
yeah I mean like why else would I ask  
....andes????  
andes wtf you’ve been typing for like 5 years  
ANDES ARE YOU OK DID THE CHAT BREAK  
ANDES  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:11  
The origin of the term ‘hamburger’ is actually unknown, and there are many theories as to why it’s actually called that. The most popular story is the food being named after Hamburg, Germany, where it was believed to have been invented. However, some others people have laid claim to its invention, such as this man named Charlie Nagreen, who instead insisted it was named after Hamburg, New York. But then there’s the whole story where it was actually invented in the US, but the meat used for it was brought in from Hamburg, Germany, and thus they called it ‘Hamburg meat’, and thusly the food item was called a ‘Hamburger’. However there’s another belief that the hamburger borrows its name from ‘Hamburg style beef’ aka ‘Hamburg steak’ which also came from Hamburg, Germany.  
actually theres more, like the theory that it originated with the Tartars  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:15  
holy hell  
that's right I forgot you’re actually like. Smart  
I like how the only time you type properly is when you’re exercising your intellectual  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:15  
i mean I did ask if u rly wanted me to answer  
I like how you read it first  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:15  
well yeah I've got RESPECT  
also res wouldn't have read it and I don't want to do anything res would do  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:16  
you?? Have respect??? For me???  
ok who tf are you where did ka3de go  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:16  
I respect your intellect but not you  
happy now  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:16  
very  
can I sleep now or wat  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:17  
absolutely not  
btw where even is res usually he's here in like 0.1s  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:17  
kaede they literally left for a sortie yesterday  
something abt mud king abnormality in lower world  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:17  
a WHATnow  
that dpesn’t even make sense  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:17  
i mean res was the one who told me  
he usually doesnt make sense  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:18  
true  
but anyways it’s not like this thing doesn’t work in lower worlds anyways  
it probably isn’t even 3am there bc time zones  
NO EXCUSE  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:18  
chill kaede they’re probably on a mission or something  
What are you even on you’re whinier than usual  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:19  
well  
it is 3am  
I wish eyre was in this chat  
I want to bother him  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:20  
ill tell him that the next time I see him  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:20  
oh my god no  
he probably already knows tho  
stupid broken mind ability  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:21  
i don’t think his ability works like that  
youre just rlly predictable kaede  
he doesnt even need to use his slime asmr powers  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:21  
STUPID SLIME ASMR  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:22  
go to sleep kaede  
you can tell slime asmr your undying love for him tmr  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:22  
no that's gay  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:22  
then dont idc  
you got your answer go to sleep n bother me tmr  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:22  
hhHhHHHHH ok fine  
gnight andes  


* * *

tax evader Today at 03:22  
gn to me too  


* * *

kaeDEAd Today at 03:23  
ANDES  


* * *

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what to say. does kaede deserve this? probably not.


End file.
